A Hard Piece of Wood

We'd like to introduce our newest contributor to Walk In Radio, Gordon K. Wood. Gordon is an alias for a writer who chooses to remain hidden behind the veil of a pen name. From time to time, Mr. Wood will break out his soap box in a series we like to call: A Hard Piece of Wood. Enjoy.

Based on my countless hours of research (I watched The Social Network twice), Facebook was created for guys to check out pictures of hot girls.  That’s it.  Plain and simple.  Then it expanded.  Find your friends; post what you’re doing, post on a friend’s wall.  Then it was pictures.  Then sharing links.  It has gotten to the point where it is no longer a social networking site.  Now it’s boring and stale.

 The reason I say this is because the “status updates” have become unreadable.  Some are funny, and these are worth posting.  Some are self-promotion; hey it is a networking site.  But some of these status updates are just plain awful.  No one needs to start a chain post about cancer.  Sorry, wrong forum.  I don’t care what you’re eating for dinner tonight, and I absolutely do not want to see a picture of it.

 The worst of the worst however are couples posting to each other.  Facebook is not the forum to write short love messages to one another.  That’s why texting was invented.  Your Facebook “friends” do not need to know your wife/girlfriend made you watch The Notebook again.  They do not care that you’re excited for the weekend you two are planning.  I don’t want to read how happy you were to get a blowjob before work (actually, that’s worth posting). 

 What ever happened to keeping things between two people?  Birthday’s and anniversary’s are the worst.  This is an actual message I saw just the other day:

This is not social networking.  It’s digital PDA.

Enough is enough.  My solution would be to simply not let spouses and couples post on each other’s walls.  Want to share a link?  Send an email.  Want to know how her meeting went?  Call her! 

Let’s get back to what Facebook was originally supposed to be.  A glorified away message, and a way to see your hot friend in a bikini.

-Gordon K. Wood