Like most people in this country (for the moment) you have a job. You’re a 9 to 5 grinder who sits back to back with other cubicle dwellers as you tap away at your keyboard, counting down til’ quitting time.
Most days, working from 9 to 5 doesn’t interfere with your quest to be a red-blooded American. That is, your ability to drink beer, watch sports, and talk amongst friends. That’s because, typically, the sports/drinking/friends day doesn’t start until after your day at the office comes to end.
Except for in March, when your daily routine gets interrupted by a little madness. Madness of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament variety.
No longer does your sports schedule wait for you to come home from a hard day. Nay. Your sports day starts (for us West Coasters) as soon as you sit down at your desk. Noon games on the East. Games at 9 am on the West. Truly madness.
So how do you get the full March Madness experience while still appearing to be productive at work? Here’s how.
First, utilize your company’s internet. All NCAA tournament games are streamed right onto your computer, for free. It’s a beautiful thing. Make sure to have plenty of other windows open so that just in case your boss walks by, you can switch to some power point or report that makes you look smart.
If for some reason your access to live games online is blocked by your company, fear not. All games are also streamed on the radio. Use your smart phone to access the audio feed with and enjoy that way.
But, what about beer? The quintessential beverage for any sporting event. Well, this is a bit tougher. I recommend a thermos. Nothing says 1950’s coal miner like a nice thermos and a metal lunch box. While the thermos gives off the appearance of hard working, blue collar employee, it’ll be our little secret that it’s filled with some ice cold American beer. If a thermos is too obvious, try using one of these things.
Finally, you need friends to enjoy the ball game. May I recommend G-Chat. As you type away things like “DID YOU SEE THAT SHOT?” to your friend’s online, coworkers will think you are writing some expansive report, making them look bad. Idiots.
If all else fails, take an extended lunch break for the next four weeks and plant yourself at your local saloon. Will you have a job when you return? Hell no. But, damnit, you will have had one fun March.