Google Chrome

Google Chrome’s Incognito Window Best Thing to Happen to Teenagers since Tube Socks

Today’s teenagers are the luckiest people in the world.  Growing up as a pre-teen, computers and the internet were just starting to become commonplace.  Most households had maybe one computer that was shared by everyone in the house.  This was a problem for any kid attempting to access the internet’s greatest treasure trove of material: porn. 

First of all, pop-up ads were all over the place.  For every one picture you clicked on (that took 5 minutes to load), you would need to click 5 more times to close all the pop-up ads, all the while hoping that one of those ads didn’t give you a virus that makes everything you type in Word come out as “Vagina”.  (Real virus that I caught).

Second of all, oh man the cookies and browsing history.  Look, when it’s over, you’re tired.  The last thing you want to do is search through the back end of your computer and wipe away any incriminating evidence.  Also, you could never get all of it.  I don’t care if you think you did.  There’s some internet porn relic in a hard drive in a garbage dump probably in the form of a Netscape file displaying your browsing selection from 10 years ago. 

But today, these kids have it all.  Computers for everyone!  Laptops, which are just portable porn treasure chests!  And finally, Incognito Windows.  To the few of you who don’t know, Google Chrome’s Incognito Window is a browser window that you can open that will prevent any history, any cookies and any pop-ups.  These kids have no awkward times, no shortage of boobies and therefore nothing to worry about. 

And that is my geriatric rant of the day. Dam kids and their technology!

-Anton Schettini