The Curious Case of Prometheus

From the very genesis of Ridley Scott’s most recent super-project, Prometheus, one thing was certain: this film felt “big”.  Whether you were lobbying for the production scale, the hype surrounding the film in the months leading up to its release, the film’s relationship to the ‘Alien’ franchise, or even Ridley Scott’s two most recent films (Body of Lies – 54% on Rotten Tomatoes, Robin Hood – 52%), you had a strong case for any of these being most important aspect of the film’s long-term potential success or failure.  When you factor in the release of at least three 2-4 minute videos that were meant to be viewed prior to seeing the film, it would have been easy enough to walk into the theater having predetermined what the taste left in your mouth would be as you walked out.

In a way, my preordained approval of the film helped save me questioning whether or not I actually enjoyed it.  I walked out of it enjoying everything about the film that I knew I would enjoy from seeing the trailer.  I knew the landscapes would be spectacular.  I knew I would love the homage to ‘Alien’.  Still, I had hoped I would leave the theater with more than that.  It was like going to see your favorite comedian performing live, then getting there, and hearing him tell all the jokes the exact same way they were on the HBO special.  You find yourself clapping after jokes in appreciation for how funny they were when you originally heard them, but very rarely do they produce genuine laughter.

The idea that a movie would be so deep and complex that the viewing experiences would be enhanced by watching somewhere in the ballpark of 6-10 minutes of footage that would never be in the film, prior to actually purchasing a ticket, was intriguing to me.  I found myself more intrigued when I actually watched the informative short of the conception of the android David and then, also, the speech by Peter Weyland that was just cerebral enough to make you think this was more than a sci-fi movie.

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Enter Sandman

I have a distinct memory of the first time I found out who Adam Sandler was.  I was sitting in a muggy, wood cabin at Herzl Camp in the middle of the Wisconsin wilderness with 10 other same-aged Jewish white children.  One kid had a CD player hooked up to speakers and they were blaring an album called “They’re All Gonna Laugh At You.”  This album had come out in 1993, which at this time must have been a good 3-4 years prior, but it didn’t matter.  The comedy that was coming through those speakers was absolutely perfect for a 10 year old boy at summer camp.

I, like most guys my age, have grown up with the Sand-man. Shortly after hearing his comedy album, I saw his breakout movies, Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore.  After that, Sandler movies became appointment viewing for most sleepovers and lazy Friday nights.  Sandler’s movies at the time (and arguably now) imitated me.  They were dumb, funny, and they were crass for the sake of being crass.  They included scenes where Bob Barker was getting punched in the face for Christ’s sake!

I’ve grown up (again, arguable to the actual extent) since my days at Herzl.  My fandom for Adam Sandler has become strictly nostalgic. The last Sandler “comedy” I saw in theaters was I Know Pronounce You Chuck and Larry back in 2007.  Going through his IMDB page, I haven’t even seen his last 6 movies, theater or otherwise.  And that’s okay.  I’m not his target audience anymore.

And that’s precisely why I’m writing this blog.

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Going back to the movies

As you no doubt have heard by now two beloved comedies are being made into sequels. Anchorman 2 and Dumb and Dumber 2 have both been green-lit and should be gracing the silver screen in a few years.

When I first saw Ron Burgundy on Conan last week I was elated. Anchorman is my generation’s best comedy. I was thrilled to see that it was coming back. Then a few days later, I read that Dumb and Dumber was coming back and that both Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels had signed on. Again I had the same feeling. I thought whatever summer both of these movies comes out is going to be a fantastic time for movies.

That won’t be the case.

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Before Your Feature Presentation

Welcome to Cineplex 16.  I am a furry, lovable animated creature with a movie coming out in the near future.

I realize you have no desire to see my face or hear what I have to say since you’ve already been sitting in the theatre of 30 minutes watching commercials and trailers.  But please, hang tight just one more minute, I have something FUN to talk to you about.  That’s right; I want to talk to you about “The Rules of the Movies!” 

I know this movie is rated R, meaning, you are over the age of 17 and have probably been going to the movies as a conscious human for at least a decade. But, it’s never too late for a refresher on how to actually get the most out of your movie experience.

First, please quiet all cell-phones.  God-forbid you wait 2 hours to Tweet, text, Facebook, or call your BFF Jennifer to tell her about what a grand ole time you’re having at the movies. Don’t even put the thing on vibrate. There’s a little button at the top of your phone that will actually, wait for it, TURN THE PHONE OFF! I know, you’ve never used this feature before, but please out of courtesy to the people sitting around you, discover it immediately.

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The 15 Minute (Mute) Movie Review: She-Devil

1989 must have been a strange year.  Apparently, during this time Roseanne Barr and Meryl Streep were close enough in popularity and notoriety to co-star in a movie together.  Since that time, the career paths of these two women have diverged slightly.  Meryl Streep is winning Oscars.  Roseanne is doing this.

But, back in 1989, they shared the stage as co-stars of the movie She-Devil.  Alongside Ed Begley Jr., the three share not only the screen, but arguably the worst movie poster of all-time.  (Sidenote: How bad does Ed Begely Jr. feel about his career when he can’t even get his name above the title before Roseanne?)

To be fair, not only did I watch this movie for only 15 minutes, but the movie was on mute while I ate lunch at a restaurant.  Here are my takes on what, from the visuals alone, look like the worst movie ever.

1) This movie was being played on some channel called This.  That’s right; the name of the channel is This.  I’m assuming that when the executive board of This got together to decide how to allocate the $14.85 it had in its movie budget, they decided to break down and pay the 35-cents it cost to get the rights to She-Devil.  For an extra nickel they could have had every movie Roseanne ever made, they declined.

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